These last two weeks, without a doubt, have been the hardest week of college for me so far. I have discovered these last two weeks that college can sometimes feel like drowning: You struggle under the pressure of the water which just so happens to be multiple assignments, tests, and due dates. And once you feel like you are caught up and can come up for a breathe of air you get shoved under the water again with just more stuff to worry about. As you can imagine this is not ideal. And I don't want to complain because I know for a fact that there are many students that are juggling more credits than I am and are handling other activities such as jobs and intramural sports on top of their school work load. I should consider myself lucky. However, like I said, these past two weeks have just been rough. However, I have found that the times I learn the most are when I am required to be more humble as I find myself asking for the Lords help more often.
Around the time that these rough weeks were starting I found out that my Dad was going to be in town. This really comforted me for some reason. My immediate thought was to ask for a blessing. However, I felt like I shouldn't. I thought to myself "I don't need a blessing. I am perfectly healthy, nothing is majorly wrong, and there are far better reasons to ask for a blessing other than just being stressed out." I was really thinking about it when I had a chat with my mom on the phone. I didn't necessary tell her all the stuff I had been struggling with but she all of a sudden said "well dad is coming down soon, ask him for a blessing." This encouraged me to take a step and ask my dad for what I needed most. When the time came that my dad was in town I had finished my first "stress week" and I knew that I needed to be humble and ask for additional help from my Father in Heaven at this time. So I asked my dad to give me a blessing. I will say this: I know that the priesthood is a real power and I am so grateful for it. The minute my dad placed his hands on my head I felt a sense of peace just wash over my troubled mind and heart. The words my dad spoke to me were very special. One of the things that stuck out most to me were the worlds spoken at the very beginning of my blessing. The words that were spoken simply told me to be aware that my Heavenly
Father loved me. This may seem like an extremely simple and
insignificant thing to be said in a fathers blessing but this struck
home with me. I was being reasured at this time that I truly had a
Heavenly Father that loved me and was aware of the struggles I was
facing. These words reminded me of a scripture that I have been pondering for a couple weeks now (I wanted to blog sooner but it has been so busy I haven't gotten a chance yet!)
This semester I have started a Book of Mormon class 121. I have read the Book of Mormon many times and I always find myself just looking for the same things every time I read it. As I started to read it for my class I started where everyone starts: First Nephi chapter one. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we all pretty much have it memorized: "I Nephi having been born of goodly parents..." ya, ya (that's how I think it feels for some of us as we start the first chapter in this book) However, as I read the first verse I noticed something I never thought of before. It says
"I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been haighly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days."
(as you could probably guess, the highlighted portion was what I noticed) As i read this I realized this could apply to me personally as well as everyone. The Lord loves His children; Every single one of them. However, just because we are beloved children of God doesn't mean that He is going to spare us from ever experiencing afflictions in our lives. Nephi, for example, suffered persecution from His own brothers, suffered in the wilderness, dealt with trials of family sin that affected him, and many other things. Regardless of these things He was blessed in many ways and was favored of the Lord. This scripture me made me realize that even though I was going through a hard time this didn't mean that I had been forgotten or that I was being punished. As this much needed fathers blessing reminded me, Heavenly Father still loved me and was there for me even though He was allowing me to go through some rough times.
I know that Heavenly Father is very real. He loves each of us and allows things to happen for a reason. I am grateful for the things that I learn even though sometimes it may be through uncomfortable and, even, painful experiences. I know that He lives and that His son Jesus Christ lives and loves us too. We are asked to go through some difficult times in our lives but these things will be for our good.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Continuing to Learn (He is there)
It feels like it has been over a year since I was in my New Testament class! In reality it has only been a little under a month since I last found myself in my inspiring class. However, I have realized something in the last few weeks that I felt I wanted to share. To start, I would like to share a story that led to my realization:
For Christmas break I was able to go back to Montana to spend the holiday with my family. After only being there a few days my dad asked me if I would be willing to speak in the following sacrament meeting. Of course I said yes and I asked him what he would like me to speak on. My dad told me He would like me to talk about my New Testament class and how it helped me. Now, for some reason, as soon as my dad told me my topic I froze up a bit. For some reason I felt as if I had nothing to talk about. This thought was crazy! I knew I had learned a lot from the class. I had blogged, spent hours on a semester project, attended all my classes, and yet I couldn't think of what I could possibly talk about. As my talk drew nearer the holiday schedule continued to get crazy. So in an attempt to "get ahead of the game" I decided to write my talk two days before I was going to speak. So I took my time to prepare my talk. I wrote it all out, had it completely prepared and felt good with the knowledge that "now I could focus on the rest of my weekend now that my talk was out of the way." However, even after I wrote my talk I did not feel content with my talk. I kept thinking to myself "this is not what I need to be talking about." I thought this was silly because I had prepared my talk and I had done my best on it. However, the feelings kept coming to me that I needed to change my talk. However, even when I considered what I was going to talk about I had no idea! I had a "stupor of thought" as they call it. The next couple days went by and the night before I gave my talk I went to bed still thinking about what I should speak on.
The next morning I woke up and decided this: I had a couple hours before church and I was going to change what I was speaking on. As I started to ponder what I was going to write I thought about one of the biggest things that impacted my learning experience in my class: My semester project.
Basically, what my semester project ended up being was an art portfolio. Not in the sense that I drew anything (I am not artistic at all) but instead I would take pieces of art that had the Savior in them. Then I would ponder the painting and write about the things I noticed, thoughts I had, or feelings I received. For the talk I gave in Montana I decided I wanted to talk a little bit about my project and use an example from it. So i chose to use the example of the painting I chose for one of my first weeks of the class. The painting is "The Lost Sheep" by Liz Lemon Swindle.
As I was writing down what I was going to talk about for this painting I figured I would just include in my talk the things I had written down for my semester project. This things would include the countenance of the girl, the saviors arms, etc.... However, as I started looking a little closer and I realized something I never had before. In this painting shows the Savior hugging this girl in a position where the girl feels his embrace but can not see His face. And the viewers of the painting (like me and you) are not shown the Saviors face. As i realized this I had this incredible realization. This is exactly how the comfort of the Savior works. When we are in our lowest points, when we are struggling and suffering He will comfort us. However, much like this girl, we can not see Him when He comforts us. But He is there. We can feel His comfort and feel His love for us.
So I don't know if my talk changed anybody's life. I am not sure if the people who listened to my words were influenced at all by the words I spoke. However, I am beginning to realize the possibility as to why I had my "stupor of thought" and was required to rewrite my talk; I needed to learn from it. I continued to learn from my new testament class even after I had finished it and it was by the hand of the Lord! And what I learned was this: That sometimes we will do things with good intentions (kind of like how I wrote my talk first talk and prepared it) but even though we do things with good intentions does not mean that is what we are supposed to do. The Lord may have other plans for us. And I also learned truly for myself that Christ is there. Even though I can't see Him I know He cares about me and everyone else and will always be willing to comfort His brothers and sisters.
I am truly grateful for this experience and I am glad that I can see the hand of the Lord and Christ in my life even in the small ways of my life.
For Christmas break I was able to go back to Montana to spend the holiday with my family. After only being there a few days my dad asked me if I would be willing to speak in the following sacrament meeting. Of course I said yes and I asked him what he would like me to speak on. My dad told me He would like me to talk about my New Testament class and how it helped me. Now, for some reason, as soon as my dad told me my topic I froze up a bit. For some reason I felt as if I had nothing to talk about. This thought was crazy! I knew I had learned a lot from the class. I had blogged, spent hours on a semester project, attended all my classes, and yet I couldn't think of what I could possibly talk about. As my talk drew nearer the holiday schedule continued to get crazy. So in an attempt to "get ahead of the game" I decided to write my talk two days before I was going to speak. So I took my time to prepare my talk. I wrote it all out, had it completely prepared and felt good with the knowledge that "now I could focus on the rest of my weekend now that my talk was out of the way." However, even after I wrote my talk I did not feel content with my talk. I kept thinking to myself "this is not what I need to be talking about." I thought this was silly because I had prepared my talk and I had done my best on it. However, the feelings kept coming to me that I needed to change my talk. However, even when I considered what I was going to talk about I had no idea! I had a "stupor of thought" as they call it. The next couple days went by and the night before I gave my talk I went to bed still thinking about what I should speak on.
The next morning I woke up and decided this: I had a couple hours before church and I was going to change what I was speaking on. As I started to ponder what I was going to write I thought about one of the biggest things that impacted my learning experience in my class: My semester project.
Basically, what my semester project ended up being was an art portfolio. Not in the sense that I drew anything (I am not artistic at all) but instead I would take pieces of art that had the Savior in them. Then I would ponder the painting and write about the things I noticed, thoughts I had, or feelings I received. For the talk I gave in Montana I decided I wanted to talk a little bit about my project and use an example from it. So i chose to use the example of the painting I chose for one of my first weeks of the class. The painting is "The Lost Sheep" by Liz Lemon Swindle.
So I don't know if my talk changed anybody's life. I am not sure if the people who listened to my words were influenced at all by the words I spoke. However, I am beginning to realize the possibility as to why I had my "stupor of thought" and was required to rewrite my talk; I needed to learn from it. I continued to learn from my new testament class even after I had finished it and it was by the hand of the Lord! And what I learned was this: That sometimes we will do things with good intentions (kind of like how I wrote my talk first talk and prepared it) but even though we do things with good intentions does not mean that is what we are supposed to do. The Lord may have other plans for us. And I also learned truly for myself that Christ is there. Even though I can't see Him I know He cares about me and everyone else and will always be willing to comfort His brothers and sisters.
I am truly grateful for this experience and I am glad that I can see the hand of the Lord and Christ in my life even in the small ways of my life.
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