Our trust in His love

Summer has flown by all too quickly. It seemed like just yesterday I was saying good bye to Provo and BYU so I could go home to Montana for the summer. Now, a short four months later, I find myself back in Provo about to start my sophomore year of school. I should be excited, right? I have always been "one of those people" who gets extremely excited to attend every year of school. I have always loved laying out my first-day-of-school outfit, buying school supplies and preparing for a year of learning. In fact, last year (my first year at BYU) I could hardly wait to start the school year. I was excited to attend my classes, be out on my own, meet new people and be a college kid. And I had an amazing year with no regrets. So, like mentioned above, I should be excited....right?
Unfortunately, this is not the word I would use to describe my feelings for this coming school year. In fact, the last month has been, sadly, an inward battle with anxiety and stress for the upcoming year.
Now, I don't want to come across as complaining... I know I am extremely lucky to be attending a great university such as BYU. However, college life is not easy. It is amazing at times with so many great activities. However, it is not easy. And I realized as I looked at my schedule and plans for this year that sophomore year of BYU was going to be a bit more challenging than my freshman year (shocking. I know right). With stress-ridden anticipation of challenging classes,  stress about financial stability and worries about finding a balance in life I have found myself, for the first time in my life, not looking forward to school.

As the last month has gone on I have continued to carry these nagging worries in my heart. And each time a week passed, bringing the school year closer, I seemed to stress just a little bit more about college life. And then bam. It finally hit me that I had school within the next day or so. This, surprisingly, hit me hard. I seemed to begin to feel very alone and upset. However, I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that placed events in my last week of summer that allowed me to find peace.

You see, yesterday I attended one of the most amazing funerals. While I did not know this family or their lost loved one very well I went with a group of friends to support the family who was dealing with this loss. The funeral was full of a peaceful and happy atmosphere that it seemed to drive peace into my own life. However, the part that really got to me was a musical number (testifying to me, once again, that hymns do have the power to bring the peace, comfort and the spirit into our lives).
The congragation was asked to turn to hymn number 270- "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go". I have heard this hymn countless times and never thought much of it. However, I am grateful for the third verse that truley jumped out to me and has blessed my troubled heart this day. Part of the third verse reads this:
"So trusting my all to thy tender care, And knowing thou lovest me, I'll do thy will with a heart sincere: I'll be what you want me to be". 

As I listened to this verse I truly felt the comfort of the spirit and as I have pondered this verse I have realized why:
Our Heavenly Father loves us. He truly loves us more than we will ever know or comprehend. And because He loves us He will watch over us. Does this mean that "bad things" in our lives will cease? Does this mean that the Lord will prevent us from experiencing trials? No and no. In fact, Heavenly Father allows trials to happen in our lives so that we may grow stronger. He will never place a burden upon our backs that is more than we can handle.But in order to understand this we must be willing to put our trust in Him.
I know the Heavenly Father loves me, I am one of His daughters. Then how is it possible that I allowed myself to forget that if I place myself in His hands, trusting that He loves me enough to help me and allow things to happen in my life for my good, that everything will be ok? As I listened to this verse I realized that if I truly place 100% of my trust into He who loves me dearly, with a sincere heart, He will bless me and help me. I made the choice long ago that I would "be what [He] wants me to be"; that I would follow His words and keep His commandments. So how is it that I have forgotten to trust Him and His plan for me?

My heart is so full of gratitude for this hymn, for the gospel, for my savior Jesus Christ and, especially, for my Heavenly Father. I am grateful for the peace that has come from this gospel. And I am grateful that through the Holy Ghost as well as the precious hymns I was able to find peace in preparing for school this year. I know that trials will come and I know that this life is not meant to be easy. But I also know that Heavenly Father is loving and will always be there for me if I will trust Him, humble myself, kneel and ask sincerely for His help.