Professors, Friends, and God; A Year In Review

Almost a year ago my mom drove me down to Utah, helped me load all of my belongings into an ancient apartment bedroom, and left me to experience my first year of school. While I was a bit nervous for college I was full of excitement! I was taking the baby steps into becoming an adult. My ideas of what to expect from college were along the lines of this: "I'll make some friends, go to class, and get a degree." However, I never could have imagined that this year would teach me much more than just knowledge that comes from the textbooks for my general education classes. My first year at Brigham Young University taught me much about life, people, Heavenly Father, and, most importantly, myself. I did not learn all of these lessons through one person or one event. This year has been a mix-and-match collage of experiences that have helped me learn and grow. I honestly couldn't explain everything that I have learned this year; if I did that this blog post would be a book. So I want to highlight three things that I learned from a kind professor, a friend, and from, most importantly, Heavenly Father.

A Caring Professor:

 One of the first classes I took my first semester was a statistics class. Let me tell you this: I am not a math wiz. I have no love for math and logic. Never have, and, most-likely, never will. When I first started my statistics class I fell in love with it. Not because I loved the material by any means. The material was stressful, difficult, and confusing to me. I loved this class because I had a phenomenal professor who was entertaining, smart, and a good man who cared for the success of his students. Regardless of his clear instructions and teachings I still was struggling with the material during the first couple weeks of class. As time passed I realized that the first test was coming up and I was not prepared with the knowledge necessary to do well. So I put on my "big-girl-pants" and decided to go get help from my professor. He was very understanding and took a large amount of time on many different days to help me after class understand the material. A few weeks later I was sitting in the testing center taking my first statistics test. I had worked hard, studied, and put in the effort for this test. As I went to receive my grade I felt completely happy when I saw that my grade for the test was about a 74% ( I can't remember the exact score but it was around there.) Yes, I was a bit bummed that I hadn't gotten higher but, as the saying goes, "C's get degrees" and I was happy with my grade. However, I still wanted to go get help on this test to see what I did wrong. I went to see my professor who looked up my test score. For some reason I felt I had to explain myself to him-I told him that I wasn't upset by my score because, quite honestly, that was the best I could do. Not a second had gone by after I had said that when my professor did something that utterly shocked me. The man, literally, yelled at me (loudly)  "NO!"

I was so taken aback by this! What professor yells this at their student?! My professor, very loudly, continued to yell and said "NO. Kelsey, you are better than this! I know it! And we are going to work harder so that you will do better!"

What do you say to this? You can't disagree with a professor that does this. I'll spare you the details, but in short, I continued to work with my professor, learn, and at the end of the year I received a high B letter grade; something I could not have done on my own.

Now, this experience has stuck with me the whole year. This man, who did not know me on any personal level at all, saw past my limited (and non-existent) talents in statistics and took the time to help me develop, learn, and succeed. And you know what the funny thing was? He always followed up with me. On other tests he would look up my test scores and if I did well he would shoot me the thumbs up. Or when I was in class he would call on me randomly to get me to answer questions so I would learn and develop. As I ponder why this experience and teacher helped me so much I have realized this: We all are "better than this," as my professor would put it. We each have a very high potential that we are not aware of. We have to ability to push ourselves. I ,mistakenly, was ready to accept my low test score and just accept any future low scores I would receive. But this caring professor taught me that we can not just accept our average successes. We always have room to improve and do better and we each have the potential to do better than we ever imagined. Thanks to this teacher I now know that I have more potential to do things and I have the capability to do hard tasks in life that will stretch and push me.

Friends:

Throughout this year I have learned a lot about people. At school you interact with random individuals. At church you socialized and get to know fellow single young adults. There are people everywhere in our lives. Each person has  a story, a perspective, opinions....People are beautiful in their own way. They have things to offer. This year I learned The importance of people.

The best way to explain what I have learned this year is to tell you something that one of my best friends taught me near the end of the year. Even though he taught me this at the end of the year I think that his words best describe what I have learned. My friend, Jay, and I were hanging out and taking a drive. I can't even remember how we got on the subject, but, we started discussing life and the people in our lives. As we started talking Jay said something that really stuck out to me. He expressed his belief that we are on this earth to learn.  He told me that every person we meet and every experience we have we can learn something from. I think that these beliefs sum up in words what I learned this year. I have met so many incredible individuals throughout the year. Some I have gotten to know on a deeper level and some i have just had brief interaction with. But this year I have come to understand that the people around us; the strangers, the family members, acquaintances, and dear friends, are all placed in our lives so we can learn something. Whether it be good or bad we have the ability to learn something from each person we meet. That means that we, in turn, have the ability to teach people in our lives something. It can be good or bad, that choice is up to us. I know that the people placed in my life have taught me much about endurance, overcoming struggles, learning to love people purely, and other life long lessons and characteristics that I can develop in my life better. While this year I received a top-notch education I feel I have learned just as much from the people around me pertaining to life as my books and lectures have taught me in an actual classroom.

Heavenly Father and His Son:

How can I express what I have learned this year about my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ? Let me tell you this to start off: It is scary being in college as a freshman. You really don't know what to do, how things work, how to take care of yourself, or, basically, anything. And it is especially intimidating at BYU where the campus is huge, there are tons of people, and the students are all very smart and determined. It is easy to believe that you are just part of the crowd; someone who is not noticed or cared about. There were times this year where, even in a crowd of people, I felt very alone. For the first semester especially, I did not feel I was making friends (aside from my roommates who were all fantastic). I didn't feel like people really knew or cared who I was.There were times where I felt pretty lonely and distressed (especially when it came to school subjects I was not good at.)

 However, this year has taught me, without doubt, that there is someone who understands completely and utterly every bad emotion I have ever had. I know I have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who has suffered for my sufferings. I know He understands what I am going through. I know this because I have found myself on my knees praying for relief and comfort when I needed it. I know that His Father, my Heavenly Father, is very aware of me as well. I know that as I have prayed for guidance and comfort I have received it.

"Kelsey, No"

As I was reading the Book of Mormon this week I came upon Mosiah chapter 22. This chapter talks about how the people of Limhi are trying to escape from Lamanite bondage. As I started this chapter the very first verse stuck out to me which says:

"And now it came to pass that Ammon and king Limhi began to consult with the people how they should deliver themselves out of bondage; and even they did cause that all the people should gather themselves together; and this they did that they might have the voice of the people concerning the matter." 

While this verse may seem insignificant, as I read it I started to think about the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saint's 185th general conference which was broadcasted over a week ago. You see, every general conference the leaders of the church have a time where they allow the members of the church to voice their sustaining vote over the authority of the church. Normally the church authority that is leading the meeting says the names of the church leaders and asks the members to raise their hand if they sustain these leaders. Then they will say after "those who are opposed show by the same sign." Normally, in general conference, the vote is unanimous; No one opposes the leadership of the church. However, this 185th general conference, there was a group of people that, when asked if anyone was opposed, jumped up and screamed their vote towards the church authorities was

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBiSeOaRzk4

 "No?" No?! What do you mean, no?! These were the thoughts that ran through my head as I watched and heard these members of the church scream their opposing votes towards the leaders of the church. I had so many thoughts and feelings that rushed through my mind and heart. As I pondered what had happened I was shaken at first with thoughts of "how could any member of the church BUY a ticket to go to general conference just to yell no at the apostles of the lord? Is that even aloud?!" Then my shaken feelings turned to anger as I thought to myself "The nerve of these people!! I can't believe they thought that doing that was ok!" Days after conference I still had these thoughts in my head and every time I thought of what happened I would get so mad and disgusted. A couple days after conference I received a call from my mom! I was so happy, I always love talking to my mom. As we talked we started to exchange stories about our conference weekends and the fun things we did. As our fun stories changed into sharing our thoughts on the conference talks, the topic of the opposing votes came up. As the topic came up I let out all of my feelings on what had happened, and I mean ALL of them. I expressed along the lines of something like this: "I can't believe those people! How could they vote no? Who do they think they are? Boy, it is lucky that I was not sitting by them because I would be giving them dirty looks and I would have a hard time concealing my opinion on their actions!"

Ok, before I go any further, I have to make this clear. As I was thinking about telling my mom my feelings on the opposing votes I really figured she would be on "my side." I had expected my mom to share her frustration, disgust, and anger on what had happened. One of the things that I love about my mom is she has a strong personality. I have seen her get upset about things that she feels passionatley about. She is an inspiration as she will quickly defend with all of her strength the church. Any time someone does anything that conflicts with the beliefs of the church she is the first person I can depend on to be strong and stand up for what is right.
With this in mind, imagine my surprise and, yes, shock when my mother answered firmly and sharply to my vent about this opposing vote "Kelsey, no."
Again; No?! What did my mom mean, no?! Wasn't she mad at this opposing vote? Wasn't she disgusted that people could shout their opposing votes in the face of the apostles in front of hundreds of members of the church? However, as my mom started to talk, my narrow perspective broadened and I found myself with a very large piece of humble pie placed in my hands by my own mother. I have always known that my mom is an incredible woman. However, as she talked to me about this subject I realize now more than ever how wise she is. My mom told me this and I will never forget it (and this is a paraphrase): "Kelsey, the church does not ask for these votes demanding that they all be unanimous. The church is not a dictatorship that demands everyone's vote."

 Mosiah 22:1, the verse that I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, shows how that leaders of the church, even in ancient Book of Mormon times, display a lack of dictatorship. The leaders consult the members of the church in all decisions. Our church, once again, is not a dictatorship. The leaders ask for the members votes at the beginning of each general conference to get the vote and do something about it. It is not a vote that is taken "just for fun."

As I listened to my mom I realized how right she is. The church asks for the members votes to get an honest answer. If there are people who have opposing votes the leaders of the church want to know why and how they can make it better. Our church is based on the idea of "agency." We as members are never forced to become members. We are not forced to do things that we don't want to do. We, in turn, don't believe in forcing others to believe our beliefs. In our own Articles Of Faith, number 11, we state:
 "We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may."
 We believe in agency; whether it be our own members or those of other faiths. Those people who voiced their opposing vote had the right to voice their vote. They used their agency to do so. Agency that the church is all about.
 
 As I realized this I had a thought come to my head. I realized that I, Kelsey Wood, truly am free to choose my membership. I am free to choose my standards and beliefs. Most importantly, I am free to choose what my sustaining vote is on behalf of the leaders of the church. My parents, my church leaders, and the God that I worship do not hold me against my will. They do not control whether or not I sustain the brethren of the church. The choice is all up to me whether or not I sustain the leaders of the church.

With this in mind I have made a decision. This is my choice: I, Kelsey Wood, sustain Prophet Thomas S. Monson as a prophet of God. I sustain his counselors as well as the 12 apostles and all of the members of the 70. I will follow their words and guidance. I will trust their decisions and I will put my faith in their words. I know that they are truly men of God. After listening to them speak all weekend I do not have a shadow of a doubt that they are true disciples of the living God.I sustain these men. Whether or not someone did or did not sustain them in this past general conference is none of my business. I have learned that for myself now. What is most important in my life is whether or not I sustain these men. And I do. I have made my choice and I intend to keep it.

He Lives

Today I write for many reasons. The last two weeks I have experienced many thoughts, events, and experiences that have helped me ponder and develop a deeper appreciation for one of the most important men in my life; Jesus Christ. What started this sense of pondering was, in fact, a paper. In one of my classes my professors required me to write a paper about the Savior and how He was the "Master Teacher." My assignment was a 3-4 page paper that told of the Savior's characteristics, actions, doctrines, and principles taught in two consecutive chapters in the New Testament gospels. As I attempted to start my paper I felt, sadly, stumped. I couldn't believe it; 18 years of being a member of the church and you'd think I could handle this assignment. In an act of need I started asking friends, roommates, and family for two chapters and what they thought displayed the Saviors role of "the Master Teacher." Finally I thought I had my two chapters. Right now, off the top of my head, I can't remember what they are.... But I know I wasn't supposed to write about those chapters. Because as I started to prepare my paper I thought of someone I really looked up to in my life. Someone who had displayed not only wisdom in the gospel but a deeper understanding of the Savior than I feel I have. This person is my dad. I realized that I hadn't asked him about his thoughts on my assignment. So i shot him a text, and figured that it would just be nice to have another opinion. Within a few hours I got a text back. My dad suggested for me to write about John 18-19. This seemed a bit curious at first because these chapters cover the Saviors crucifixion. out of all the chapters that include Jesus healing the sick, preaching the gospel, and performing miracles, all of which taught and converted many, my dad suggested chapters where no parable is told, no healing is done, and no teaching is performed. However, my dad explained this to me: Jesus Christ was not the master teacher because of what He taught but because of what He did. As I pondered and wrote my paper I realized Dad was right; The Savior taught all of us by example as He did the most selfless thing in the history of the world; He died for all.
I don't want to cover all of the things that I wrote in my paper, here instead is a link that leads to that if you are interested in reading it. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wRx26U7TZULWa9AATWPZ5xGlV8BmqIUID54FGncnAQA/edit
Instead I would like to address what this understanding of the atonement lead to in the following week.

This weekend, as we all know, was Easter weekend. Easter use to be time when me and my sisters would look for eggs, eat lots of bunny shaped chocolate, and get new Easter dresses that my mother would either buy or make with her talent of sewing. However, within the last few years I have started to, finally, understand the deeper meaning behind Easter: The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. This Easter weekend was especially special because it happened on the 185th general conference session; A time where the Prophet and Apostles speak to church members all around the world to give guidance, inspiration, peace-bearing messages, and the words of the Lord. To enjoy conference weekend me and three of my good friends went to Salt Lake City where we wanted to enjoy watching conference. I will admit though, this trip, originally, seemed to be mostly a "weekend get-away." We spent the weekend by going out a lot, chatting, spending time in the city shopping, along with watching conference.
  However, one of the days as me and my friends were just laughing and enjoying our time a random thought came to mind: As I looked around at what I was doing I realized that at this point in time hundreds of years ago Jesus Christ was enduring the pains of the atonement and the crucifixion. I am not a religious scholar; I did not know exactly what times the Savior endured such pains. But I realized as I looked around at my friends and the world around me that while I was enjoying some pleasant things at my point of life hundreds of years ago the Savior was enduring the most unbearable things imaginable. This made me feel a bit sad to think about Christ suffering so much. However, as we  listened to the apostles I learned some valuable things about the atonement.

In conference President Packer said something that really stood out to me: He said "The atonement [of Jesus Christ] bears no scars." For me this meant that if we use the atonement in our lives we will not have any scars left (our sins will be forgiven and the Lord will remember them no more). But how interesting is it that ,while our scars will be healed and never seen, Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, will always have the scars of the nail prints in His hands? Elder Holland said in his phenomenal conference talk today "This Easter I thank [Christ] for standing triumphant over death although he stands on wounded feet. This Easter I thank Him for extended his arms in unending grace, all though he extends it with pierced palms and scared wrists." Christ truly suffered much for us and we should remember the prints He will always carry on His body to remind us of what we should be doing in this life.

Just as Elder Holland thanked the Savior for His sacrifice, as well as Heavenly Father for allowing such things to happen, I want to express my gratitude for the Savior as well by bearing my testimony of Him. I know that He suffered, bled, and died so that all men could not only be forgiven of their sins but so that they would never feel alone; for Christ truly has endured all of our pains, sufferings, afflictions, and loneliness. He knows how we feel at all times. But most importantly I know that He lives. I can not express this loudly enough. I can't prove this to anyone. I can't explain the resurrection. But I know that He lives. I believe with all of my heart that He lives. Because He lives we all have a second chance. We all have this beautiful gift that was paid for by our loving older brother that allows us the chance to return to Him and erase our spiritual scars. Christ extends His arms out to all of us and He will never let us go. He will never let us down. I know that He lives, I know that He loves us, and I know that He, along with Heavenly Father, is aware of each of us. I am not ashamed to add my testimony of these things to those of the prophets and apostles. I am so grateful for this Easter season and for Jesus Christ; The redeemer and Master Teacher.