Girls Camp and Grips

Activities that have not been practiced in a long time are often compared to the phrase “it’s like riding a bicycle- you never forget”. Unfortunately, this is not the case with blogging. Writing out my feelings and insights seems to come a lot slower and rougher than it once did.

 Once upon a time I loved blogging. I loved blogging about the Savior, His love, Heavenly Fathers hand in my life and other aspects of gospel doctrines. However- life is crazy and, unfortunately, I have let the excuse “I’m too busy” get in the way blogging- a way that has allowed me to ponder the gospel more fully and share my testimony of the Savior. It’s hard to write something personal then post it in the open; it leaves you feeling very vulnerable and sometimes unsure. However, I am hoping that I can again get in the habit of writing down my personal feelings about Christ and our Heavenly Father- I have missed it, in all honesty.

Pretty recently I decided to start reading the Book of Mormon from the beginning. It’s been a slower process than usual but it has really helped me start to ponder my life and the experiences I have had. This week I had a chance to read in 1 Nephi about Lehi and his vision of the tree of life (found in chapter 8). As I read in the chapter I found myself re-reading the things I had grown up hearing about: The iron rod, the tree of life and its fruit that’s purpose was to make one happy, the mist of darkness that distracted people from their goals and other symbols that represent our world today and the plan that Heavenly Father has laid out for us in order to return home to him. As I was reading one verse in particular I saw a verse that caught my eye; 1 Nephi 8:30. Verses prior to this one explain how people would “cling onto the rod then fall away into darkness” or how they would simply “hold onto the rod” and then fall away as well.  However, verse 30 says said something that really stuck out to me: 

“But, to be short in writing, behold, [ Lehi] saw other multitudes pressing forward; and they came and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree.”

As I read this verse the three words “continually holding fast” stood out to me. What did that even mean to hold “fast”? As I started to try and figure out what it meant I had only what I can describe as a “flash back”. As I pondered what the term “continually holding fast” meant I remembered a year of girl’s camp that I had over 6 years ago.

When I was 14 years old I had a chance to go to another year of girl’s camp. We went up to some kind of cabin (I know….we really “roughed it”) and we spent the week doing activities, spending time with each other and studying the gospel more fully.  I honestly can’t tell you much about that week- it’s been over six years and I can’t remember much. However, there is one thing that I think I will always remember about that week; an object lesson. On one of the last days of our trip our young women leaders took us out into the woods behind the cabin to talk with us. Each of these women were examples and friends in my life however, there was one woman who was, in my eyes, held with the most respect and love; my own Mother. She was in the young women presidency at the time and had worked extremely hard to make sure we had a good experience at camp. She and her counselors brought us out into the woods and talked to us about our quest for eternal life.  They discussed with us how our journey on this earth is not an easy one and, much like Lehi’s tree of life vision, there are mists of darkness that can place fears, doubts and temptations into our lives. When those mists of darkness come into our life we must hold onto the iron rod, stay on the path to our Heavenly Father and remain courageous. With this being said, our leaders said they wanted to do an activity with us. They led us to a different part of the woods to a thin rope tied to a tree that extended towards a certain direction. They explained that this rope was going to be our “rod of iron” during this experience and that each of us were to be blind folded. We were instructed to follow this rope- and that if we made it to the end if we we would be led to a surprise. However, we were warned that under no circumstances were we to let go of this rope. No matter who or what tried to get us to leave we were to only hang on tight and follow the rope. As a group of teenage girls you think anything like this sounds fun so we all willingly put on blindfolds and grabbed the rope. As I started to walk blindly over rocks and branches I thought “yeah, this is going to be a piece of cake- no worries”. I heard girls that would giggle when they tripped over rocks and I heard hushed exchanges of whispers between friends. All seemed to be going perfect…until almost out of nowhere I felt someone grab me and say “this way”. Almost as reflex I felt my hands release as I allowed myself to be led away.

 I cannot really explain in words all that happened in this moment- It happened so fast. One minute I was walking all fine the next I had someone quickly, almost sneakily, taking me off the rope. The speed of this persons approach caused me, who thought with confidence that I was going to easily walk my way to the surprise at the end of the rope, to let go and be led a ways off. Almost as quickly as the person came and took me off the rope they left me alone with no way of seeing and no way of direction. I remember that suddenly I had this realization that I had made a mistake and had not listened to the leader’s words of warning. I kind of laughed at myself when I realized what had happened but then stopped when I realized that I didn’t really know what to do next. So, I kind of just stood there; alone with no direction. After a few moments I realized that I couldn’t really get back to the path on my own and I verbally said aloud “I messed up” (as if that wasn’t obvious). 

All of a sudden I heard a voice that I recognized all too well- My Moms. She kind of was half laughing as she asked “did you let go?” I kind of nodded helplessly… Not really sure what to do. But, my mom gently asked me this: “Would you like to get back on?” She received a quiet “yes” from me.

 Thankfully, my Mom led me back to the rope that was, surprisingly, not all that far away.  This time I was determined not to let go under any circumstances. I clung onto this rope as if my life depended on it. I knew my previous mistake and the consequences that followed. Several times after I was put back on the rope people came to take me off. Again, someone came quickly and tried to physically remove me from the path but I wouldn’t allow it. Staying on the rope got even harder when a familiar voice of a leader kept telling me to let go; to come with her to somewhere better than the surprise at the end. Although tempting, I thankfully kept on. I did not want to make that mistake again. Eventually we all made it to the end where our leaders had put some kind of nice surprise for us; something that I have since then forgotten. However, this is what I haven’t forgotten: This experience is something that is very real in our own lives. I had full intentions of staying on that rope in order to make it to the end where the surprise was. However, my grip on the rope was something that wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t continually holding fast to the rope.

 After pondering what the words “continually holding fast” mean I asked one of my friends her opinion of the definition. She told me that holding fast doesn’t mean, necessarily, holding quickly. Instead, she thinks of the word “fast” as in “fasten”. She explained that if we are continually holding fast to something that means we are fastened to it; we are holding tight and no matter what happens we will not let go or loosen our grip on that thing.

This is how we should be in life. We must be fastened to the gospel; we can’t just grip it with limited dedication and conviction. The gospel, the words of the prophets and the Savior are there the lead us, guide us and assist us in finding our way home to our Heavenly Father who has blessings for us that we are not even aware of (“surprises”, if you will). We can’t just think with confidence that we are strong enough to withstand the temptations of this world. The adversary knows us. He knows what we struggle with and he knows how to get us off the path. Sometimes he comes in quickly; before we even have time to see him coming. And sometimes he sneaks to our side and whispers things in our ear that would tempt us to let go of the rod for just a second. If we are not holding fast, if we are not fastened to the rod of iron with all of our might mind and strength, then we will not stand a chance. We will find ourselves out in midst of darkness, sin and confusion before we know what hit us. It’s a scary thought to think of- Satan having that much power. However, it is so encouraging to know that Heavenly Father believes in us and has given us the ability and tools to return home to Him where he is waiting to bless us with all the “surprises” He has to offer us at the end of our iron rod at the end of our journey. 

I know that Heavenly Father is rooting for us. He wants us to follow that narrow pathway all the way home. He knows that it is hard and that it’s not going to get easier. However, He knows that we have the capability to return to Him. And I am so grateful for the fact that He is on my team…. There is no one that I would rather have on my side than He that knows me the best, loves me the most and has the most faith in my ability to return home to Him.